The Passing of Time
by Iiandyr
Summary: A war has engulfed our protagonists and Rin is left in a village for safe-keeping. After several decades Sesshoumaru comes back to get her, but things have changed. A realistic RinXSesshoumaru story. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**The Passing of Time**

_Chapter 1_

They stood in the outskirts of a human village. He wore his usual armours, his tail hanging over one shoulder and the look on his face was without expression. She wore a new yukata for the occasion, a light blue one, with white stripes across the chest. The face of her eight-years-old self usually wore an expression of interest and endless fascination at the wonders of the world but that was all, at present, forgotten. Her mouth and eyes were pressed into a wicked grimace and tears streamed down her face. The green toad at her side clasped his hands above his ears to try to block out the piercing sound of her wailing. He found the exercise difficult, as in his hand he held the staff of two heads and in the other were the reins of the two-headed monster Ah-Un.

"Would you stop it, Rin, you brat!" the green youkai shouted with his loud, croaking voice.

"Rin is-" the girl said in between the sobbings. "Rin is very sorry, J-" another attack of wailing seized her before she could finish the sentence. "Jaken-sama."

The toad had an irritable look on his face when he quickly retorted: "Stop it, Rin, or else Sesshoumaru-sama might not come to get you when we are finished." When the girl's wailings abruptly ended, only occasional sobs breaking through, the green toad looked quite satisfied with himself. This, however, changed quickly when a hard foot was placed on his head. Sprawled across the dirt the toad mumbled a "I am so sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama" and bit down as the wailings once again commenced.

"Rin." The girl lifted her head, a look of inexplicable sorrow on her face but bit back the wailing as she regarded the white clad man who had just uttered her name. "It is time."

Rin could feel another sob break through at the man's words but she collected herself and reached into her yukata's obi to pull out a forget-me-not that she had spotted on the way toward the village, earlier that morning. She offered the flower to the armoured taiyoukai who accepted it and put it in the clevis between his armour and his sokutai. Rin looked at her master expectantly but when he showed no expression at her gift she was seized by another round of sobs.

"S-Sesshoumaru-sama", she stuttered. "Rin loves you!" Rin imagined for a second that she could see her master tense at her words but when she closed her eyes upon another fit of wailing the sensation was lost.

The words appeared to have had no impact upon the taiyoukai for he simply turned around and said in a voice as expressionless as his face had always been: "Jaken, it is time for us to go" and in a whirlwind he was gone, leaving behind the human girl who now cried loudly without holding back and the toad to bid his farewells.

Jaken jumped onto Ah-Un's back and looked down at the girl. Trying to make himself heard above her wailing he once again explained what was about to happen. "You insolent girl, we are going to war and the midst of fighting is a dangerous place for a girl. You will stay here and upon the end of the war Sesshoumaru-sama will come and get you". The wailing and crying had not in the least subsided and the toadyoukai irritably croaked a "Dah, never mind", before clutching the reins of Ah-Un and disappearing into the skies.

When Rin was alone she stopped wailing – not because the sadness had ended, but her throat had tightened up and she felt like she was suffocating. The tears still streamed down her face when she leapt to the ground and hit her chest hard with her small fists and clawing her face with her fingers. Soon she was surrounded with people who had seen the two-headed animal leave and they stared at Rin with wondrous eyes. Her sobbings returned as she came to realise that in this village she would always be known as the demon girl – and what hurt even more was that she now was in the care of these people whom would inevitably come to hate her.

As one of the bystanders reached down to pick her up she screamed but the man was strong and held onto her throughout her violent gesticulate and he carried her in to the village with a trail of amazed people following behind. In the arms of the man who smelled like her father - whom she nearly didn't remember – had once smelled, she calmed down and before they reached the village core she had exhaustedly fallen into deep slumber.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

They stood by the hut where the miko Kaede had once dwelled. However, many years had passed and the miko had died. After the war Inuyasha's wife, the human girl, had taken her place as protector of the village and she was now tending to the nearly-healed wounds of the villagers who had fought by their side.

"Sesshoumaru", the miko said meanwhile tying bandages around a villager's nasty wound. The armoured man - her brother-in-law – turned his head toward her to let her know that he was listening. "It's been almost five months since the war ended. Why haven't you gone to see Rin yet?"

"Why you wench! It is _Sesshoumaru-sama_ to you", the toad youkai at Sesshoumaru's side spluttered in anger. "And do not question the decisions of my master! Sesshoumaru-sama has been far too busy with aftermath of the war to bother with some human girl! Do not you appreciate that all you lowly humans have not had to..." the green little youkai was disrupted by a growling Inuyasha who wasn't yet visible from inside the shadows of the forest where he'd went to fetch fire wood.

"Don't speak disrespectful to my wife, you frog!" he screamed from a distance.

"Do not your wife speak disrespectful to my master, the great taiyoukai of the Western – Agh!" Inuyasha had arrived by the party of villagers surrounding his wife and brother and lifted the imp from the ground, carelessly tossing him around. Kagome, on the other hand, seemed not to care about the imp but instead regarded Sesshoumaru with calm.

"Aftermath? What have you been doing, Sesshoumaru?" she inquired.

"Land treaties", he answered with his usual air of composure.

"But you're finished with that now, right? Why don't you go and fetch Rin? I'm sure she'd be thrilled, she haven't seen you for so long". The miko's hands stopped mid-air with feeling the skin of a villager's burn wound. "If not..." she started. "You didn't forget where you left her, did you?" Sesshoumaru felt anger seeping under his skin at the words and he let a small growl escape his throat. Kagome smiled and returned her hands to what she'd been doing. "No, of course not. But, then, Sesshoumaru, why haven't you gone to see her yet? I'm sure you must miss her awfully much!"

The taiyoukai regarded the miko with outward calm, even as his inner feelings were in a turmoil. Kagome's hands - where once they'd been silky and smooth they were now calloused and wrinkled. Her once slender body had become plump and stiff and her skin had loosened over time. She was not a youkai and hard work had worn her body out. The sign of old age was visible even in her determined miko eyes. Sesshoumaru didn't know for how long the war had lasted – time was, after all, nothing that mattered to him, but he was sure, from the looks of his sister-in-law, that at least fifteen years – probably more, but he didn't know how humans aged - must had passed since the day that he left Rin in a human village.

"She must be grown-up now", Kagome said dreamingly. Then she looked up at Sesshoumaru. "It's been twenty-eight years, she's not a child any more. I wonder what she's like. Does she have children of her own, do you suspect?"

Sesshoumaru felt a pang in his guts. Twenty-eight years, had it really been that long? Thirty-six years – that's how old his ward should be now. He could feel his stomach turn slightly at the sudden realisation that she might well be dead. The same fear that had so long kept him from finally meeting his ward again now inevitably pulled him toward her.

"Jaken", was all he said as he turned away from the aged miko and in a whirlwind disappearing into the forest. Left behind was the youkai servant who still struggled to get away from his hanyou prison, the hanyou himself and a saddened miko.


	3. Chapter 3

**Message for you!** I'm looking for a proof reader for this story, someone who is familiar with Inuyasha and has studied English at university level for at least a year or someone whose mother tongue is English. If you are interested, then please let me know! Thanks.

This chapter has not been proof read (by anyone other than me), but please bear with it. Thanks.

* * *

_Chapter 3_

A woman sat on the porch. Her hair, which had once been raven black, was now turning grey and wrinkles decorated her tanned face, hardened from experience and old age. She was not yet forty but life had been hard on her. However, her plump body seemed still to glow with the will to live and as the rare Hokkaido-sun stroke her cheek and her children and grandchildren ran about her she purred as a cat with the satisfaction of simply being alive. The woman's name was Rin.

Rin was the wife of a successful youkai executioner and the mother of five children. She had given birth to eight but only four had survived to become adults. Their last child was not yet twelve and had one more year to go before he would be called a grown-up. Their eldest children alive had both left their childhood home to create families of their own.

In the eyes of other respectful families the Tao-family was a good a family as any. Tao Rin was a famous local person as her story was widely known: she went by the name of demon girl. Abducted and brought to the village by a two-headed youkai when she had been but a child, she had been taken care of by a local youkai extermination family that took interest in her knowledge of demons. It had enabled her a good upbringing and when she was a mere fourteen years old she had married her older stepbrother, allowing her to stay in the family forever.

However, Tao Rin carried a secret which she could never allow anyone to know of: that in her childhood she had travelled together with a demon. When Rin had been eight years old there had not been a day in which she had not thought of her former master: the white clad taiyoukai had been in her dreams every night and she had awoken, sweaty and clinging to whatever was close enough. The feelings that then had seeped through her had been sadness and distress. The Tao-family assumed the nightmares to be caused by the abduction and patted her and held her and loved her all the more. However, as years passed by she came to think and dream less often about her armoured warder and when she did the feelings were no longer those of loneliness, disappointment and distress but they had transformed into disgust and fury. When she became old enough to marry it crossed her mind that over the past six years she had only ever regarded her former master some handful of times and each time the feelings had grown more and more toward hate and anger and she grudgingly drove herself to try and forget about the man who caused her so much pain. A year later, upon giving birth to Tao Hayato's first child the thought of a tall, stoic and evil taiyoukai seemed, to Rin, as distant as the war that raged on the neighbouring island, of which they rarely heard news. It was true that when they first had received news about the end of the war Rin had felt something inside her stir. A feeling of expectancy rose in her heart, even though she felt hatred toward herself for allowing the feeling to affect her and she had persuaded herself into abandoning the thought that her master would ever come and get her. That night, and during the months that followed she had had dreams about the most extraordinary and handsome and kind creature she could have ever imagined and she awoke every morning as sweaty and clinging as she had when she was eight. But the feelings that seeped through her as her husband consoled and held her were not those of sadness and distress but those of bitterness and hate and each of those mornings was yet another confirmation stating that she had indeed been abandoned by the taiyoukai.

Therefore, when Rin sat on the porch, fondling two of her grandchildren, lapping in the sunlight and suddenly received a hastily call she couldn't possibly have understood what was about to happen and she couldn't have known to thank her lucky stars that her husband and her eldest daughters had been called away from the village.

"Tao Rin-san, th-there's a demon", one of the men from the village stuttered in between the panting.

She lifted herself and the toddlers off the porch and regarded the agitated man. "Hayato-san, and my daughters are currently on an excursion but I suppose I could do an extermination", she said with a slight frown. The villager looked upset at the news but was not sound enough to oppose her. "Kohane? Would you help your younger siblings look after the babies?" Rin shouted to her eldest son. The sixteen-years-old boy soon appeared behind a screen in the house carrying one of his nephews.

"Yes mother", he retorted obediently as he let the child down. As the young boy shakily ran off to find his aunt Kohane took the toddlers from his mother and then turned to the terrified villager. "What kind of demon is it?" he asked.

"It's horrible! He is a – that is – they said he was a t-taiyoukai", the man managed to stutter.

Rin felt a clenching feeling in her guts – as though someone had punched her. She knew it wasn't _he_ but she couldn't help having her thoughts running havoc.

Kohane raised an eyebrow. "What business could a taiyoukai ever have with a small village like ours? Surely he is leaving soon, there is no reason to fret."

The villager looked from Kohane to Rin and back again, then said quietly: "He said – I mean the taiyoukai, of course – they said he asked for something – for someone". The man fell silent and tormented his fingernails with his teeth for a second before finishing the sentence. "He asked for _Rin_".

Rin could feel the sweat begin to pour and she fought the trembles running through her body. A mantra came to her head. _It is not him, it is not him, it is not him..._Then she ran in the direction the villager had pointed.

* * *

This was the hardest chapter to write by far and one of the reasons was all the names that I had to come up with by myself. I don't know much about Japanese names but I knew I didn't want to randomly choose some names so therefore I went to and made a few up myself. I decided against using every character in the story but I came up with a name and a personal history for everyone and I thought I could let you know the names and their meaning.

_**Tao **_– great fighter

_**Hayato**_– famous for his courage

**Rin's children:**

_**Togo**_ – distinguished by being strong (dead)

_**Harumi**_ – beautiful life (20 years old)

_**Yoshiru**_ – child of love (19 years old)

their forth child was still born :

_**Kohane**_ – god child (16 years old)

_**Aiwa**_ – autumn flower (14 years old)

_**Takeshi**_ – fighter (dead)

_**Sakaki**_ – righteous ruler (11 years old)

**Harumi's children(and this is where my patience ran out :P):**

_**Yaku**_ – ricefield child (3 years old)

_**Mitsune**_ – water person (1 year old)

_**Doori**_ – (Their family name, actually, what this means eludes me. By now I was just tired of this and took the name of one of my favourite actors: Sakurada Doori)

**Yoshiru's children:**

_**Tenji**_ – first person (2 years old)

_**Hane**_ – second person (1 year old)

_**Amane**_ – (Their family name. This time taken from my favourite anime character: Hikaru 'David' Amane of Rokkaku Chuu in Prince of Tennis.)

Oh, yeah, and the nephew that Kohane carried around was Yaku.

I think that's all for now, enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

**Message for you!** I'm looking for a proof reader for this story, someone who is familiar with Inuyasha and has studied English at university level for at least a year or someone whose mother tongue is English. If you are interested, then please let me know! Thanks.

This chapter has not been proof read (by anyone other than me), but please bear with it. Thanks.

* * *

_Chapter 4_

The white clad, stoic man frowned. He was surrounded by agitated and terrified farmers sporting rakes and spades. He didn't understand what the farmers were intending with the rakes, nor why they seemed upset: all he had done was to stand there, at the edge of the forest.

When first he had appeared in the shadows of the forest there had only been a few pitiful farmer women in sight. He had tried to recognise them to determine whether they had been there the last time, when he had left his ward at the very same village, but if he had ever met them before, then age had changed them past recognition. That thought made his intestines burn from some unknown feeling. He had watched them for some time before he stood out in the sunlight to greet them but when he did terrified screams had pierced his ears. Suddenly women had ran back and forth in a frenzy meanwhile the toad youkai at Sesshoumaru's side croaked and attempted to follow them with his staff held high, scaring the two-headed pet beast into roaring loudly. Not too long after that the great amount of farmers with rakes had appeared.

He had tried to be reasonable and explain why he was there but as he had muttered the word his throat had thickened and to his dismay the farmers had only watched each other with as terrified looks as before. "Rin" he tried again and to his relief, this time a farmer had ran off after silently having consulted his comrades.

The toad youkai now stood by his master's side and leaned on the two-headed staff, though staggering a bit from the hardship of staying completely still. His master, on the other hand, had neither budged nor stirred from the time that the farmer had left to fetch Rin, until the time the woman arrived, panting.

She abruptly stopped moving when she spotted him. It had been such a long time since she had last seen the man and she was stunned by the very sight of him. He looked the same as he always had and she was lost in sensation as she admired his hair, his air and his gigantic tail that he still sported over one shoulder. He stood as still as though time around him had stopped, and she knew that he had, indeed, not felt a second passing by since the last time they met!

Then, in the blink of an eye the wind changed and the illusion was lost. The ever-white clad man lifted his head in her direction and she immediately assumed an offensive position. She shouted orders at the villagers that still surrounded her former master and they turned around in panic and ran toward her. "Go back to the village! I will handle this!" she screamed with all the intensity and authority she could muster. The villagers happily obliged and above the rustle and the noise of villagers' screams she could hear the, somehow, still familiar voice of the youkai she once had called 'Jaken-sama'. "Rin!" he croaked. The sound made her dizzy and she began to tremble. This was the moment which she had for so longed awaited but now, when it was finally happening, she was surprised to realise that the trembling of all her limbs were not caused by anticipation and longing, but from fury. The longing and love, she realised were but distant sentiments repressed by the current loathing. She fought her inner instincts to remain her calm and began pacing toward the two people whom she had for so long loved, and for so long hated.

Time sped up as she got closer and closer to her warder. Her heartbeats felt like they were penetrating her chest and the broken voice of the toad youkai got diluted with the messy jumble in her brain. Her warder said nothing, but quietly regarded her as he always had and for a heart-rending moment she longed to hear him say her name. When she was close enough so that she could have exhaled and have had the fur of his tail stir from the action she stopped. For a second she felt the need to look him in the eye but when her eyes trailed upwards from the selvage of his armour she remembered how tall he actually was.

"Rin, is that really you?" the toad inquired.

She looked down, surprised at how small the youkai servant was: she had remembered him bigger, almost as big as she. "Yes, Jaken", she answered bitterly as she remembered how the only one actually changed was her. Then she sadly added "-sama" as she realised how her Jaken-sama had tried to comfort her upon their departure, caring for her more than her warder had, at that last moment.

The look on the toad youkai's face was that of confusion. Then _he_ spoke. "Rin", was all he said at first. Her heart leapt. Then: "You have changed".

She knew that her old self would have felt sorrow and even despair at the words, but the grown-up Rin had improved: she wouldn't put her feelings on display as long as he didn't. She inhaled fast and rendered her face into an expressionless imitation of her warder's, then proudly raised her head to meet his eyes.

"I hate you", she said without displaying or revealing anything she might have felt upon speaking the words. Then she promptly turned around and began walking away.

Jaken's croaking voice reached her ears as she lifted one foot to put it in front of the other but what caught her attention was the sudden whirlwind that she could feel appearing and disappearing behind her back in the blink of an eye. She twirled around and found herself standing face to face with a speechless toad youkai and en empty, gaping forest.

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In the next chapter? The introduction of an OC.

Hope you enjoyed!


	5. Chapter 5

**Message for you!** I'm looking for a proof reader for this story, someone who is familiar with Inuyasha and has studied English at university level for at least a year or someone whose mother tongue is English. If you are interested, then please let me know! Thanks.

I'm sorry this chapter took so long. I have been rather busy and my internet went down so that is why this chapter has not been proof read (by anyone other than me), but please bear with it anyway. Thanks.

* * *

_Chapter 5_

Sesshoumaru was the lord of the Western Land. He had many allies; but they were his allies, not his friends and they were greatly outnumbered by his enemies. Having a human girl travel with him had never been fitting and she had been made a target one too many times. Sesshoumaru had never lied to himself: he never believed himself to be able to protect her at all times but yet, the fact that he hadn't been able to do anything to save her the second time she died, came across him as unfair. He had then considered leaving her at a human village for good but that time, as so many others, sentiments had prevented him from it. This time, however, was fine. She had made the decision herself. He just wondered why it hurt. Thinking about her, her air and her looks, made it hurt all the more.

She hadn't changed. Of course, outwardly she had, but he could still see his naïve and joyous Rin in her face. She was a person who was truly happy to be alive, and he demanded it from her: she had, after all, been brought back to life twice. Her eyes were still the dull dark brown, her skin the sun touched smooth surface that had rubbed against his in her youth and he was happy that she was the same person. He was glad that she was happy. He was so glad it hurt that she was alive. So he knew he should leave it at that, despite the hard words she had uttered and he forgave her: because they had been triggered by his words and because she had become, after all, just another enemy amongst many.

It wasn't until nightfall the taiyoukai realised that his toad servant had not yet joined him. He found this disturbing, seeing how he wished for nothing other than to leave the place and head back for his own territory. With agitated feelings despite his stoic face he headed back toward the village to try and pick up a trail of the youkai servant's scent.

He was still many miles away from the village when he felt the scent of a human being and then he spotted someone sitting very quietly inside the forest. He broke his stride and turned his head toward a little girl wearing muddy rags and tangled hair, her eyes trailing the taiyoukai wearingly. He was amazed that a small human girl had been able to sense him and even more – see him in the darkness that enveloped them both and he felt a sudden need to talk to her.

"Little girl", he said. She twitched but nodded her head in recognition. "Where are your parents?" said he, not feeling the scent of another person close-by.

"Dead", she answered and began to stir. The taiyoukai regarded the human child as she rose from the ground and paced toward him. When she was so close to him that he felt her breath across the skin of his hand she raised her fingers and gently stroked his tail.

"Are you a youkai?" she said tentatively.

"This Sesshoumaru is indeed", he said as he watched her with amusement. He frowned when she gasped but then she immediately turned around and half-ran to the spot on the ground on which she had sat when he first saw her.

"I stole this", she said, offering him half a loaf of bread. "I took it from my grandmother. I live together with her and I tell you: she _is_ such a bother!"

"This Sesshoumaru doesn't care for human food", he refused in an expressionless voice but the words had awakened in him a sudden feeling of deja vu. The feeling made his stoic face loosen for a second and without further explanation the wind again pressed against his face, leaving a surprised yet amazed human girl in the heart of the forest.

Sesshoumaru found his youkai servant still lingering around the village where Rin now lived. The toad smelled strangely of the girl – nay, the woman – and Sesshoumaru winced inwardly. It was a scent he would rather forget about and he decided to throw the toad into the next lake they passed by. "It is time for us to go", he said. The toad looked sad for a moment and then quietly followed his master.

As they had walked for some time the toad gave off a croak. "Sesshoumaru-sama, where are we headed? I thought we were going back to the Western Land?"

The taiyoukai closed his eyes as he realised that his conciousness had brought them in the wrong direction. A fast sniff in the air told him where they were and answered the toad with a growl: "This Sesshoumaru needs to see to the girl".

* * *

From tomorrow onwards I'm going to be very busy with school again, so I'm sorry to say the next chapter will probably take some time. Still... Hope you enjoyed!


	6. Chapter 6

**Message for you!** I'm looking for a proof reader for this story, someone who is familiar with Inuyasha and has studied English at university level for at least a year or someone whose mother tongue is English. If you are interested, then please let me know! Thanks.

This chapter has not been proof read (by anyone other than me), but please bear with it. Thanks.

* * *

_Chapter 6_

Upon her return to the village she had been greeted with relieved laughs and cheers.

"Did you kill the demon, Rin-san?" someone called. "Of course she did! After all, she is the _demon girl_!" someone else retorted.

Rin winced and felt dizzy at the merry shouts. She was still flustered and frightened from her previous meeting with her taiyoukai warder and to hear people say that she had killed her former master was upsetting. She settled for smiling at her audience and then excused herself. She had spotted her eldest son carrying two of her grandchildren, standing in the road that led to their house and she hastily made her way toward him.

"Did not I tell you to stay at home", she hissed at the boy.

"You told me to help my siblings take care of the babies, Mother, and so I did", he said with a smile, but instantly regained his seriousness."Mother", he said. "Was it a taiyoukai?"

The woman regarded her son for a moment before offering to take one of the babies. As the boy handed her one of her grandchildren she said "Yes" and then started walking swiftly in the direction of their home. Kohane had to follow with a vigorous stride to keep up.

"Then... you didn't kill him", he assumed. Rin nodded by way of an answer. "The villagers... I heard them talk about the demons". Kohane said matter-of-factly. "They said..." he hesitated and regarded his mother's tense looks before finishing. "They said that there were three demons. The taiyoukai, a toad youkai..." Rin came to a halt and closed her eyes. She knew what was coming. "...and a _two-headed_ monster." The boy regarded his mother intensely again and she took a deep breath and said:

"Yes".

A long silence commenced during which the boy was deep in thought. "Mother, tell me, how is it you know this demon? For I can tell that you do!"

Rin grabbed the hem of her son's shirt and dragged him in under the protective shade of the trees that irregularly lined up by the edge of the road. "You _must_ promise never to tell_ anyone_!" she hissed agitatedly, observing the boy to spot any sign of unreliability. Kohane nodded earnestly in understanding and Rin prepared herself. "When I was young my parents died. The people from my village rejected me and I lived in a small hut by myself", she began, still observing her son for his reaction. "One day the village was attacked by wolves and everyone was killed – including me". She fell silent as she had expected a loud response at this but a gasp was all that interrupted the silence at first. Then her son asked hesitantly.

"You... have been dead? Is it... are you... Does a youkai control your body?"

"No, no!" Rin hastily interrupted. "Sessh – the taiyoukai from just now found me and resurrected me". Her son nodded understandingly. Rin didn't understand how he could stand there and simply accept what she told him. It was her story – and even she didn't entirely believe that everything she just told her son had really happened.

"Then... what happened?" he inquired.

"I... somehow, I began travelling with him. I was so young that I cannot remember how it happened, I cannot even remember being resurrected, it was Ja – the toad youkai who told me all about it", she continued. "And then I died the second time, I do remember _that_!"

This time she could see Kohane noticeably wince before he asked: "Was that when you ended up here?"

She opened her eyes wide as she understood what her son was thinking. "No! No! Coming here, meeting Hayato and receiving you children, it was the best thing that ever happened to me! I really liked to travel with Sessh – with the youkai and when he left me here – for safekeeping, they said – I was devastated, but that is all healed. I don't care about them anymore, I care about you, my family!" she said agitatedly.

"Then why will you not speak their names?" Kohane said accusingly.

Rin was suddenly very angry. She had spent so many years trying to forget about her former master and friends and now it all dropped down over her head. She didn't see why he couldn't understand that her fear of the names wasn't because she still cared for them, but because the secretive feeling was carved deep into her bones. "You are named after one of them!" she screamed furiously at her son, scaring her grandchildren into wailing. She handed the infant she carried in her arms over to her son and turned around, taking a couple of deep breaths to calm down.

An uncomfortable silence filled the air when Kohane managed to get the infants to stop crying until he sighed. "Who?" he asked.

Rin looked at him, surprised at the question. "Who what?" she said irritably.

"Who is the one I am named after? The toad?" he said with distaste.

"No..." Rin smiled weakly, once again offering to take one of the infants. "No, your name comes from the human child who travelled with us for some time. His name was Kohaku and he was about my age, perhaps a little older. However, we split up as the war began: he joined his sister and fought in the war – and I was left here".

"Kohaku", her son repeated.

"I did not know how to write at that point in life so I do not know what _kanji_ he used for his name..." she said sadly. "but he was a good friend and I am glad that I named you after him anyway. He was a youkai slayer, just like you, Kohane". She petted her son's hair. Kohane stood silent.

"What is your relationship? You and that taiyoukai's? Why would a mighty taiyoukai ever care for a human, enough to resurrect one from the dead? What use did he have of you?" he said then, upset and savage-like.

Rin looked down at the infant in her arms and smiled and lulled to it. The baby extended its hand to touch its grandmother's and at that moment Rin was truly happy. She looked up at her son and spoke calmly. "I loved him - I still do - I do not think that he ever had a real use for me, no, I probably dragged him down - getting kidnapped, and killed and always ending up in all sorts of trouble. No, I only ever caused inconvenience to him, but he still saved me every time something happened and even when I was left in this village – it was for safekeeping! Or at least that was what they said but when we heard news about the war being over and still they did not come to pick me up – I began to doubt and hate. I had not thought of them for such a long time and then to realise that you had been abandoned? But I never was. The fact that they came today proves that! So there is no more need of hate – only love". She smiled sadly and felt Kohane's hand upon her shoulder.

"Mother..." he said meekly, but with a look in his eyes that Rin couldn't determine what it meant.

"I love him", she said, turning her head down. "And all those times he saved me – I think he loves me too!" She looked at her son once again and this time she could clearly tell that the feelings in Kohane's eyes were disgust. She winced and opened her eyes wide with incomprehension. "Why...?" she stuttered.

"Mother! He is a demon!" Kohane said crossly. "And you were just a little girl the first time you met! It is repugnant!"

Rin looked unintelligibly at the boy and shook her head in confusion.

"Mother!" the boy shouted again. "You are married!"

This time Rin understood. She laughed sadly and sighed as she started to explain. "You are still so young, Kohane. I was younger than you are now when I walked with my lord", Kohane winced when she called her former master 'lord', "and I did not know that there was such a thing as love between a man and a woman. I loved him, to be sure, but it was the love one might have felt for a father: remember, Kohane, my parents were dead and I had no one in my life. He was my warder and I was his ward and the love we felt for each other – that I still feel for him –was the love of father and daughter – nothing else".

They both fell silent as Kohane reflected over what his mother had told him and Rin took the first steps out on the road again. They both walked silently, side by side, only the toddlers were emitting random babble during the walk toward their home.

There were small, elliptical footprints in the dirt in front of the house and on the porch lay a small bundle of grey fabric. Rin was immediately alarmed and went into a fighter's stance. Kohane followed her example and they both tiptoed to the prints where he bent down to examine them. "These are youkai footprints", he said, alarmed. "A small one, a... it could be either a fox or maybe a toad... I hope it is not a fox, that would be...", but Rin's sudden cry interrupted him.

She half-ran the steps that were left to reach the porch and, meanwhile tightly grabbing the child in her arms, she began tearing at the cloth enveloping the bundle. It was soon torn open and a beautiful ivory comb and a light blue woman's kimono with white stripes across the chest revealed itself to the world. The woman's eyes were once again filled to the brim with tears and this time there was no holding back the sobbing as she embraced the replica of the kimono she had worn upon her first day in the village, spilling her tears all over the garment.

Her son walked up to his mother and carefully released her grip on the baby she was holding and wide-eyed went to rub out the footprints from the toad youkai in the dirt. He then sighed deeply and walked into the house, leaving his mother to her disarranged thoughts.

That night Rin dreamt about her warder once again.

* * *

_I'm sorry it's been such a long time! I actually wrote this chapter several weeks ago but I wanted to finish the next chapter before I published this one. I'm sorry to say it might take a few more weeks before I can upload the next chapter, due to exams and what-not. Still, hope you enjoyed, and thanks for bearing with me!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

The weather had for the past week been windy and cold and therefore the toad youkai had been longing for his home lands a little more than usual. His master had insisted on staying around the area where their former companion resided and they had occupied a cave fairly closely located to a smaller village in which a couple of very quiet and introvert, for which Jaken was thankful, peasants lived.

The Lord of the Western Lands had regularly been heading out around the same time every morning and arrived back at the cave late every night. The toad youkai happily used the free time to visit the woman called Rin. He stayed in the outskirts of her yard for several hours and watched her life passing by.

The woman seemed to live a fairly happy life considering her age and the toad was happy to notice that she moved swiftly and nimbly. A fair amount of people were always in her presence; meanwhile two boys practised their sword skills in the backyard Rin sat about, sometimes cradling an infant or two, but most of the time she just shouted orders and instructed the boys in their work. At nightfall, when the cold had become just too cold the family retired into the house and that was when the green toad took the opportunity to make his way to the porch and leave subtle gifts. Most of the gift were gifts like the first one he had offered: kimonos and jewellery, but there were also beautifully worked weapons and food.

Upon returning to the cave one especially stormy night the toad youkai stood face to face to the Lord of the Western Lands. His master sat still and expressionless as ever but Jaken's patience had run out.

"S-Sesshoumaru-sama!" the toad croaked loudly. The Lord of the Western Lands gave the toad youkai an irritable look and then closed his eyes. "Sesshoumaru-sama", he tried again, this time more carefully. "Why are we staying here? Rin is doing well, there is no reason for us to stay. And she does not wish to go with us. We should leave for the Western Lands. I do not think that there is anything we can do to make her come with us... " The Lord of the Western Lands tensed as his servant spoke.

"You smell of her! Have you seen her in these last few days?" The toad opened his mouth wide in discomfort and elatedly turned around. "Jaken. Have you seen her?" his master once again demanded.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, I went to see her one more time just to make sure she is all right! And I thought I should return her things! And I..." he was interrupted.

"You have returned her things to her? What things?" His eyes narrowed and turned toward the strap bags on the ground of the cave. "Gifts?" he said with aversion. The toad stuttered and shifted his focus to his feet. However, the Lord of the Western Lands said no more and silence engulfed the cave. The imp sat down against the wall of the cave to try and sleep but an irking thought tickled his mind and kept him inevitably awake. He knew he must not bother his lord but the thought would not leave him alone and he tentatively tried his luck.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" The youkai lord gave no token of recognition but the imp still continued. "Sesshoumaru-sama, you should go see her. Go see her, and talk to her and give her back her yukata. The one she wore when she walked with us. Go see her and she will understand!"

A stone as big as a fist flew through the air and landed on the imp's head with skilful perfection, causing the toad youkai to lose his conciousness.

In the morning when the toad youkai woke up there was only the two-headed monster sleeping beside him. The imp shuddered and lifted himself from the ground. Without exertion he walked up to the strap bags lying on the bottom of the cave and carefully taking a look inside them he quickly concluded that something was missing. A few humans' utensils such as a tinderbox and a rough wakizashi were gone, but most noticeably: the beige and orange chequered children's yukata, which has once belonged to the woman called Rin.

_Lol, I'm so, so, so sorry for being this late with this chapter. I could spout excuses for the rest of the day, but I won't since you probably don't want to hear them. All I'm going to say is: the next chapter will be up fairly soon. Hope you enjoyed this one!_


	8. Chapter 8

_Chapter 8_

Meeting her warder had been hard. Hard because he was her past. Harder because Rin loved him and wanted to be with him again. All the more hard because she loved her family more. All the more easy because she had finally told her secret to someone.

The nights following the encounter were long and Rin slept most uncomfortably. The dark was too dark and nightmares, such as ones from her childhood, pestered her and kept her awake. Therefore, two nights after having met her warder, she had been awake when she heard the sudden sound of familiar steps outside her bedroom door. She sat up in her futon and noticed a diluted silhouette through the rice paper in the shouji door.

"Kohane?" she said tentatively. The silhouette ceased to move.

"Mother", he answered and moved to slide the door open. Rin stood up to greet him.

"What are you doing up this late, son?" she told him accusingly, yet affectionately.

"Mother, I heard something from the porch. I thought I should go see what it was. Maybe father has gotten home", he said with hope in his voice. Rin nodded eagerly in agreement and they both began walking silently but with a fast pace across the corridors of their home, both sporting tense expressions on their faces.

The entrance hall was gaping empty and Rin could feel a tension jabbing her heart so when her son reached toward the door she pulled her nightgown closer and joined in beside him. Through the chink she could see nothing, but her son had a small intake of air. She looked over his shoulder as she said: "What do you see?" He stood quiet for a small while before pointing his finger at something lying on the porch. She couldn't quite see what it was at first, but as her eyes grew more accustomed to the dark she saw that is was a rather small, box shaped and apparently gift wrapped, bundle. Rin's fascination at this mysterious thing escalated and she tiptoed quickly to the bundle. When she knelt beside it she noticed the wrapping cloth's fine quality and she hesitated for a moment. She could feel her son moving to stand behind her back and she looked up at him with a bewildered expression. Kohane embraced her shoulders and said, as if to sooth a child:

"Mother, why do not you open it?" At this, Rin staggered. She knew very well where the bundle came from and Kohane made it icily clear that he, too, realised and that he did not approve. Rin didn't reproach him for it because she, too, did not approve. Not really.

"That stupid man!" she exclaimed with annoyance echoing through her voice as she tore the beautiful fabric to reveal what was underneath. The ornamented small box inside was made out of kaya wood and though it fit in her palm it weighed considerably. She proceeded in lifting the top of the box. Her son stood still beside her and she could hear him gasp and suck in air in a disapproving manner. Rin herself was dumbfounded. If she had ever expected another gift from her master then she would have expected another yukata, maybe even a kimono. Or something edible. Those kinds of things were all things that her master had offered her before. Not something like this. But the sword that lay before her was truly beautiful. Youkai made, she could see.

Kohane had left his position behind her back and now stood in the dirt in front of the porch. "It's the toad youkai", he said. Rin looked at him with surprise. "See, the tracks", he continued, gesturing to the ground. Rin nodded her head in understanding but inside her she felt little but disappointment. So the gift had not been from her former master. At least not directly from him.

The following mornings that week Rin had woken up to new gifts, all wrapped in the most beautiful cloth and the gifts themselves being exquisitely precious. And there was always small circular steps on the ground. A tense smile was constantly to be seen in her face and though she her steps were lighter, an air of disappointment had been carved into her soul.

She was laying in her futon, sound asleep, when something woke her up. She could see something was moving through the paper in her door. She was instantly awake but her reaction was slow and before she had time to get out of her futon there were lights and movement in the corridor. Happy cries sounded through her ears. "Father! You are home!" Rin's sleepy face turned bright at the realisation that her husband and daughters had returned and she sprang out of her futon and into the corridor. There stood her eldest daughters, smilingly carrying their children that had been left with Rin and there stood also Rin's husband, clothes a bit dirty, face as merry as ever and keeping their younger children in a tight embrace. When Hayato saw her he smiled and released himelf from the children. "Love, how good is it to see you!" he said with a smile and she returned it. Embracing each other gently, Rin felt something in his hand.

"Is that a gift, father? Is that what you got from the people you helped slaying the youkai?" said their youngest daughter.

He smiled at Rin and let go of her. Then he said: "No. We actually did not manage to kill this youkai. It ran away", he said with a frown. "But this is something I found on the porch. What might it be, do you expect?" he smiled at his youngest daughter. Rin felt the blood in her veins run cold. She looked closer at the bundle that he was holding, and, indeed, it was another gift from Jaken. She frooze still. "I heard that you have had youkai trouble as well", he continued. "A taiyoukai, they said, down in the village. Really?" he chuckled.

Kohane looked at his mother with a frown and she looked back at him with a panicky gaze. "There was indeed a taiyoukai here, father, but he has already left", Kohane said. "All thanks to mother. The bundle that you are holding I expect to be a gift from the villagers, by way of thanks". Hayato looked at Kohane, then at the bundle in his hands.

"Then I should give this to you, love", he said and handed the package to his wife. "Do open it". Rin took the bundle hesitantly and looked at Kohane. Kohane's face was expressionless and made her think of her former master. She once again looked at her husband and then began to open it. Inside was an ornamented expensive-looking brooch. One that the villagers would never be able to afford. Youkai-made. Rin felt panic rushing over her and so she did the only thing she could think of: she turned around and walked out on the porch, away from her surprised husband and family and away from her sympathetic and understanding son.

* * *

_Next chapter will hopefully be up within a week's time. Hope you enjoyed!_


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9_

Hayato had just woken up from a deep slumber and was sitting on the porch reflecting about his wife's strange behaviour. He was sure the brooch she had received did not come from the villagers but Kohane would not own to who it came from, even though he acted like he knew. Hayato could not think of anyone he knew that could give such a gift. And there was also the dilemma of the youkai that they had failed to slay on their recent journey. His mind being occupied by all this he did not sense the presence of youkai spirit coming from the forest, not until the youkai himself stepped out in the dim light of the cool Hokkaido sun.

Hayato immediately tensed and rose to fighting position. "Kohane, come! Youkai!" he screamed as he thanked his lucky star for Rin bringing their daughters and grandchildren into town that morning. Hayato was careful not to let his eyes stray from the demon before him and he closely observed it. The demon wore a white gear beneth its armour and a big, fluffy thing hang over its shoulder. It also carried a package under its arm, a package not very unlike the one he had handed his wife earlier that day, only this one was wrapped more neatly. "What do you want?" he asked the demon, with suspision poisoning his voice. The demon said nothing.

"Father", said Kohane, who finally joined his father on the porch. He held a couple of weapons in his hands and offered his father a sword he had brought from inside the house. "Is this the demon that entered the village earlier?"

"I suppose it must be", said Hayato. "The villagers said the taiyoukai was all in white, and what is this, if not white?" he mumbled through his teeth.

Kohane then did what Hayato would never have expected: he let go of his weapons and took a step forward. "Sesshoumaru-sama, Lord of the Western Lands, I will not fight you!" Hayato hissed at his son with a terrified look on his face, but the boy only looked at his father with composure and shook his head silent. "Father, there is something you must know. And I will tell you, but first, you must let me do this!" To this, Hayato could not object, not when there was something very important that he was so obviously unaware of, however, he refused to let his guard down in front of the youkai lord. Instead, he stepped back with his weapon raised and watched his son dealing with the taiyoukai.

"Sessoumaru-sama", began Kohane. "What do you want?" He said it with such sadness in his voice that Hayato did not understand would his son speak in such a manner to such a creature?

The question was important and the answer to the question even more so, and therefore he listened carefully for what the taiyoukai would answer. There was a long moment of silence and then it said: "Rin".

Hayato felt a shiver running down his spine, but said nothing. He looked only at Kohane, whose face now looked as though he was about to cry. "But you can not have her", Kohane said, shaking his head. Hayato felt incomprehension overwhelm him as the taiyoukai also looked sad for a moment, but then it showed its glistening teeth and growled: "This Sesshoumaru needs Rin". At that, Hayato gasped and turned to Kohane.

The feeling inside Hayato was confusion and rage and most of all; that of true fear. He loved his wife, the woman he had known for almost all his life, and certainly nearly all of hers. He thought he knew her inside out, but here he was, a great taiyoukai from the Western Lands who wanted, no, _needed_, his wife. A dangerous taiyoukai wanted his beloved and the reason eluded him. And as scared as he was that his loved one might be snatched away, what scared him even more was that he didn't know why. So as feelings of fear and anger and frustration took hold of his heart he adressed Kohane: "Explain! Explain it now! Or I will... I do not care that it is..." He couldn't quite sort out what he wanted to say and was thankful that Kohane seemed to know precicely what he was thinking.

"Sesshoumaru-sama", said Kohane. "I beg of you, I must tell my father..." He seemed to not find the right words and Hayato wished to help him, but couldn't think of anything that would help.

Instead the demon spoke:"Where is Rin?"

"She is not here now", Hayato shouted. The demon turned its head to the youkai slayer, its eyes slits and its hands curled into fists. "She will be back tonight", he finished meekly. The demon's expression softened, if only just slightly, and it said: "Very well then". And in a whirlwind that felt as cold as ice to Hayato, the forest stood once again gaping before them.

And then, Kohane confessed everything...

* * *

_We're getting closer to the end... I think, three of four more chapters!_


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10_

Sesshoumaru felt a strong need to rest. It was not very unlike times when he had been in a fight. Like a throbbing wound stealing and dragging his youkai power away from him. Only the wound was something he could not quite understand and the feeling made him uneasy, which only triggered the feeling of being tired. And it made him frustrated, so he ignored it.

He had wandered the woods for some time, trying to catch the smell of the girl child he had met before. It was a task that normally would take very little time but his mind was split and his thoughts diverted and therefore when he finally found his way to her it was nearly dark. She sat by the stem of an old tree, only some hundred meters from where he had first met her, and she was playing with a small doll made from sticks and rope. When she saw him her face turned brighter and a smile found its way past her chapped lips.

"Youkai!" she called to him and stood up. He didn't give her an answer but stood scrutinizing her shabby clothes and her small body marked with bruises and bloody patches. She offered him her doll and he felt the tension inside him floating away. He opened his mouth to begin to speak but then he sensed movements coming through the woods, and then angry shouts. The taiyoukai's calm was instantly stirred and he left the girl in the same manner he had come there: she couldn't see him leaving.

Away from the girl his thoughts were once again pestered by the face of his former ward and he had hardly thought about going back to the house where she now resided before he already had reached it. This time he was expected and it took only minutes before the boy, the man and the woman stood before him.

"We should go into the woods", said the boy, leading the way as the man and Rin followed him in silence. Sesshoumaru felt tension and aversion coming from the man that was careful not to make a sound. However, once they had reached a more secluded part of the forest the man was all of a sudden the man in lead.

"Youkai", said he. "My name is Tao Hayato and I am the husband of Tao Rin". The two of them, Hayato and Sesshoumaru, stood still for a while, watching each other. The feelings running through the taiyoukai's mind were such as he had felt before, but only ever in matters concerning his ward: feelings that he much rather suppressed. Then the man cleared his throat and continued. "I have been told my wife once walked with you". Sesshoumaru nodded his head up and down, once, collectedly. "Tell me, youkai, why have you come?"he said at the nod. Sesshoumaru gave no answer.

"Sesshoumaru-sama", said Rin suddenly and took a step forward. Her husband stretched his hand out to hold her back. "Rin", said he. "Let me take care of this". Hearing this, and seeing his ward treated in such a diminutive manner stirred the taiyoukai's emotions. "You lowlife will treat this woman with respect", he said sternly. Rin turned to him with a surprised look in her eyes and pushed her husband's hand away. "Sesshoumaru-sama", she said again and began moving toward him. "Sesshoumaru-sama, do you want me to come with you?" His face betrayed no emotion at the words and silence was her only answer, though her husband's face was twisted in a nasty grin of disagreement. She smiled, part sadly, part nostalgic and nodded her head lightly. "Sesshoumaru-sama, you know I can't come with you. I have a family here, a family that needs me and I need them. I'm..." She was interrupted by a growling coming from the taiyoukai's throat. The lining of her yukata was suddenly grasped by claw-equipped hands and she was nearly pulled of her feet, but with a quick reaction she tore away from him and took an extra few steps back, to regain her personal safety. It was something she had never before witnessed in her warder and it scared her. She was half-way met by her husband coming in such a quick step that to make her realize how fast it all had happened. The front of her clothes had been ripped apart.

"You bastard!" Hayato said between his teeth, pulling Rin in a tight embrace. He turned his attentions to her for a moment and once asserted that she was nothing but a bit shocked he turned once again to face the lord of the Western Lands.

Sesshoumaru looked at the scene, surprised with his own behaviour and actions but determined to show nothing. However, this was the very moment he realized something he should long have known: the feelings for his former ward, that he had for so long suppressed. Although he had never in his life owed to such a thing he had no choice but to now confess it to himself. He loved his ward and he needed her, apparently more than he could have thought possible, had he even been aware of his feelings before that moment.

"Youkai", continued Hayato again. "I see you want my wife for yourself. I fear you will find me disinclined to engage you. However, I have a deal for you".

Sesshoumaru's eyes would have narrowed, had he been a human being, but now they only swayed to observe the woman's. Her eyes were filled with surprise and he could also see her eyebrows furrow in feelings of confusedness, but she said nothing.

"My deal is this: in a village some hundred ri from here there is a demon going berserk. I and my daughters were just gone to kill it but I fear we did not prevail. If you can kill that demon and bring it back for me to see then I will consent to Rin's going with you". Rin gasped and grabbed onto the man's clothing. "Hayato!" she shouted with her voice filled with something between anger, fear and light-headedness. Sesshoumaru could also well hear with his youkai-ears the twitching and fumbling coming from the boy now standing behind his mother and father but Kohane seemed determined to not intervene.

A long moment passed, during which Sesshoumaru – calmly ignoring the pair of humans, now shouting violently at each other – contemplated whatever reasons the man might have to make him this offer, or what the implications, or at least the most important ones, would be. However, his thoughts soon departed from the doubting and questioning manner and instead took on a new style. He found, as he searched his inner mind, that although he himself would never have given Rin away, were he in the man's shoes, it was still very possible the man did not love Rin the way the taiyoukai did. Sesshoumaru found this thought disturbing; how could any man not love Rin the way she ought to be loved and be allowed to live through it and he let out a growl, thinking how the man did not deserve this creature of perfection. The woman's eyes, as they met his, grew wide in fear at the growl and the taiyoukai continued contemplating. He thought he could never snatch Rin away against her will and so he thought that if he did her mate the small favour of bringing back the monster then she would doubtlessly come with him, be it from gratitude or love or obligation, though he would of course prefer the former options.

"This Sesshoumaru agrees to your terms of conditions", said he calmly, his insides raging with a warm feeling.

"Good", said Hayato with a nod, turning to watch his wife's wide-eyed expression.

As Sesshoumaru turned around to leave he could smell emotions of fear, confusedness and a kind of sadness spinning in the air but as he put one foot in front of the other and instantly felt the wind pressing his hair in the shape of an arrow behind him the only emotion that was left to smell was his own. And he was much surprised upon finding that it smelled quite like... joy.


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter 11_

"Why on earth did you do that?" Rin shouted at her husband. "What – That is, what is the meaning of this?" she growled, trying to twist her arm out of the firm grip her husband had upon it as he dragged her through the forest, in the direction of their home. She pulled and pulled, put her heels down and clapsed her free arm onto trees crossing their path but she was dismayed to find that her son was always right behind her to push her or to pull her arm away from the trees. There seemed to be an agreement between her husband and her son, an agreement of their being in a haste, a common understanding of something that was quite above her knowledge. As they strided out of the forest and stopped in front of the porch Hayato finally loosened his grip enough for Rin to pull her arm away. She took a couple of steps away from the two men that went to stand next to each other. She stared at them in disbelief and with a distinct anger glistening in her eyes.

"Rin", said Hayato with an angry tone entering his voice. She instantly turned her eyes to meet his in an ice-cold stare, her usual feelings of trust and calm being thrust away at the unfair and completely outrageous behaviour of her two loved ones. Kohane shivered at this stare and, feeling that he was now more an intruder in their disagreement but maybe also because he feared his mother would blame him for his decision, he climbed the porch and entered the house. She had known that Kohane had let out her secret to Hayato the exact moment she returned home and was greeted with stern eyes, shrouded over with concern. She had waited for a while for him to bring up the subject but as several hours had passed and still he had not spoke she could see no other way than to bring it up herself. Taking Kohane aside she asked him why he had made the decision to tell his father about her secret and that was when she learned about her former master's visit. This new piece of information made her, however, only more conviced of the urge of her bringing up the subject with her husband. Her husband, on the other hand, had showed a certain disinclination to the discussion and had soon excused himself from their conversation. He seemed, even now, as unwilling as before to discuss this with her but Rin knew it was important (after all, what was at stake was all the years she had spent to build herself a new, functioning life, and all the people she loved) and would not let it go without a fight. But she had hardly opened her mouth before Hayato started speaking. "Rin, you know we can't stay here", he said. Rin's expression of anger faded in favour of one more confused.

"What do you mean?" she asked suspiciously.

"That taiyoukai will come for you, do not you realise it?" Hayato said, his voice now letting slip a mild undertone of something Rin could identify as fear. "That thing will come back and it will fight us and even if we do not die he will surely abduct you! We must run!" His voice now bordered on crying and Rin now realised what he was up to. When she earlier that morning had noticed her husband organizing and packing together bundles of clothes and neccesities she had merely thought he was preparing for another expedition of youkai-fighting but now it all became very clear.

"Hayato", she said. "Sesshoumaru-sama will not kill us, if not for the stupid thing you just did! How could you betray him like that? Sesshoumaru-sama is not cruel, he would surely not take me away against my will!" She was, however, not as inclined as she wished she was in believing this to be true. She had not met her warder for such many years and how could she in any way expect herself to understand the many ways in which the taiyoukai might have changed?

"Silly woman!" Hayato exclaimed. "You do not understand!"

"No!" she said aggrevatedly back. "I daresay you do not understand! I was the one who walked with him, Sesshoumaru-sama would never hurt anyone, least of all me! He would never hurt one of my loved ones! Unless he was given a reason to, which you now so conveniently have!"

Hayato's face was filled with restrained emotion but he looked away for a moment and as he turned to once again face Rin his eyes full of nothing but concern and he said in a pleading tone: "Love, can you tell me, with all the honesty your little heart may ever contain, that you will never be afraid of the taiyoukai? Are you entirely sure it would not have taken you against your will, just now? That it would have never hurt you, or harmed you, and that it would have accepted whatever decision you made? "

Rin shook her head annoyedly yet with a feeling she could not quite define: she wanted to believe in what she said but she could not entirely convince herself. She still said obstinately: "He would have!"

Her husband sighed annoyedly and once again his eyes locked on hers with a serious glare. "Can you really say that, even after seeing how it behaved earlier?"

"How could he behave otherwise! You and your silly ultimatum! How could you do that without even discussing it with me first? Of course Sesshoumaru-sama reacted the way he did, anyone would have!" she said, but upon saying it she felt her conviction fade away. The way the taiyoukai had reacted earlier had frightened her and, although it was not a proof, then it was at least a strong indication of his temper. She was caught up in thoughs of how her childhood self must have romantazised such a rescuer that her Sesshoumaru-sama had truly been to her, and how years of loving and hating that person must have distorted her views of his true nature. She thought how truly naïve she been when she walked with her lord, and how naïve it was of her to not see that her master must of course not be such to her now as she remembered him being in her childhood, however much she loved him. "You know, now he will come after us, not because he cannot have me, but because you were disrespectful enough to lie to him!" she said dejectedly. "He will kill you, and possibly me also".

"He will try, but he will not succeed. I have already sent a message to the Youtayasu family and they will meet us on the way to help us slay this taiyoukai". Rin gasped at his words but Hayato grabbed her upper arms and shook her. "Do not you see! We have to kill it! It is the only way we can be together. And I need you". Rin hesitated for a moment before she straightened herself up, gave a small nod and met her husband's eyes. He nodded back and an agreement was made. Rin feared she would later be punished for her decision, but, though she was ashamed for it, it had now been made and that made for some measures. She followed hur husband inside their house and proceeded in helping him finish pack together their neccesary belongings and gathering together her family.

She sighed as she worked. It was an impossible mission: they could kill him, perhaps, though she wished they would not have the need to. Maybe her former master was changed in ways that she could not possibly begin to understand. And yet, what kept her thoughts even more occupied was: how would she remain sane while betraying her master? She knew she had to leave her children back at home, for they would have no chance at all of running away, but she could not help but fear what Sesshoumaru-sama would do to the children when he found out they had fooled him, that Hayato had backed out on his proposition. What would he do when he caught up to them? For it was certain that he would catch up. They would need to fight, but would he fight her? Could she fight him? None of her questions had answers and it not only frightened her, it pained her and maddened her and deprived her of every last of her wits.

In half an hour they were off. Her eldest children were under strict orders to take their families north, the rest of Rin's children, apart from Kohane, were to go with them, and meanwhile Rin, Hayato and Kohane were to travel south, to meet up with a famous band of youkai slayers. Rin feared the moment they would meet for she knew she would be the end of these people she had never met before: for she knew, no matter how much she tried in convincing herself otherwise, no matter how much they tried, how long they persevered, they could never really prevail over the lord of the Western Lands. But her husband had a grim grin on his face.

_I have not abandoned this story, thought it might seem like it. Hang on, guys (and also me), a couple of more chapters, then we're done._


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter 12_

The sky was grey and yet the air was christal clear. So many scents lingered around this house, and there was so much the mist added to them. The whiteclad man could still pick out _her_ scent,though, as if it was attached to him by a string. But something was wrong: the scent of her was old and had begun to waver. The scent of her told him that she was not here. He growled.

Had anyone been there to watch the scene – as in fact, there was – they would have been astonished. The green imp standing along the side of the forest watched his master carefully. The whiteclad man had his tail whipping over his shoulder as he stood brooding beside the human abode. Jaken shuddered and kept looking around him. What was his master doing here? He could not sense any movement in the house and all the scents seemed dim and faint. So, as his master turned around and walked straight into the woods, Jaken, of course, stepped onto Ah-Uhn's broad back, clatched with the reins and followed.

He had some difficulties keeping up with his master, and the taiyoukai was soon a blur on the horizon. Luckily Jaken's sense of smell was better than most toad-youkai's and he could still smell the trail his lord had left behind. A while later the smell had grown more recent and the treetops over Hokkaido's stretch of land were thinning out. Then he became aware of a smell of blood and fire mixing with the trail. He grabbed the reins more tightly and spurred his riding animal on.

Rin had felt surge of fear as her former master entered the meadow which the party had made their strong-hold. She beheld her comrades' eyes and was somehow pleased to see the fear residing in them as well. She felt she did not deserve this, she had been tricked into choosing sides and hate surged through her. Most of all it was hate for her husband, but also hate for herself. These strange and rivalling emotions emptied her of common sense and reason, and so she blamed the people around her. The people who had absolutely nothing to do with the present situation, the only people in this situation who were entirely blameless. She laughed at their fear, and turned to watch her husband.

The blind determination in Hayato's eyes shocked her and laughter froze in her throat. In his eye's were fear also, but mixed with something else: a boiling madness. In that instant she realised that to anyone else watching she must look the same. In that one instant she understood how tough the decision had been, for the both of them and, unless they both died here and now, how feelings would rage through-out their minds forever. Guilt, hate, sadness would intermingel with blinding rage and destroy them, even if they survived this. But then she thought of the Hokkaido sun licking her face, her grand children laughing and grabbed her husband's hand and looked him into the eye. She returned his grim smile and then she turned her gaze to Sesshoumaru, the taiyoukai lord of the Western Lands, her former master. No matter what she was going to live.

"Demon!" Hayato shouted. "Leave us alone forever, or we will execute you!"

The taiyoukai's eyes turned and gave her husband a piercing stare.

"Do as we ask!" Shouted another man, one Rin had never met before.

Rin gulped when her youkai master turned his gaze to hers. His stare was intense and, she was surprised to see, full of emotion. Anger. He lowered his head ever so slightly, asking, she realized, for her opinion.

"Leave", her throat was dry. For maybe the first time in her life her warder truly frighened her. "Leave my family and these people alone", she said shakily.

"Will you come with this Sesshoumaru?"

She hesitated before answering. "I will not", she said. "I can not".

Her lord stood stoic for a while, but then, in the blink of an eye the man's hair and tail became a blur of white mist behind him, so quickly was he closing in on her. In surprise Rin cowered and screamed. Her husband answered immediately, attacking.

Rin stood speechless as Hayato's blade instinctively found its way toward her Sesshoumaru-sama. The loud clanking sound of blade hitting breast plate was followed by the growl of her master and when Rin opened her eyes after blinking she turned to find her husband on the ground, clawmarks across his chest. She screamed in terror, kneeled by his side, shaking him. The man lay still.

Behind her more screaming ensued; angry youkai-slayers shouting their battle-cries, grabbing their axes and blades.

"Mother", she heard Kohane's voice next to her shoulder and looked up. He seemed blurry to her eyes, and she realized she was crying. "Mother, has father died?" Rin could only stare up at him. Understanding dawned in Kohane's eyes and he scowled. "I will kill him!" Kohane proclaimed and started for his weapon.

Rin paniced and grabbed on to his arm. "Stop it!" she shouted. "Stop!" She pulled him away from the battleground where many men were now lying bleeding on the ground, many, she didn't doubt, dead. Rin shoved Kohane behind her, pushing him back with her body weight, making sure to always keep herself between her warder and her son. The blood bath was coming to an end, her lord slowing down, turning around, searching to meet his eyes to hers. She firmly gripped her son's arm with one hand and her blade with the other. "Sesshoumaru!" she shouted. The man said nothing. "Sesshoumaru!" she screamed again. "Leave! And kill no one else! I have seen enough of your blood baths!"

The lord of the western lands took a step toward Rin, walking slowly, slowly up to her. Kohane pushed against her back, screaming in rage and trying to get passed her, but she held her ground. But then, she was pushed against a rock and she tripped, ever so slightly, but it was enough. Kohane rushed passed her, head-on, straight for the youkai lord and Rin screamed for all she was worth. "Stop it! Stop it! Do not you dare to harm another of my family! If you must kill, then kill me!"

Sesshoumaru's eyes were on hers in a second, filled with fury she didn't understand and he growled: "This Sesshoumaru could never kill you".

Then they were upon each other. Kohane's blade made a dent in the warlord's armour and the warlord lifted his clawed hand. Rin had time for a scream, and nothing else, and then Kohane was struck. He fell to the ground like a sack of meat. She got to her feet, shaking and flailing her blade in the air. Her feet smattered against the ground as she ran toward her former master, all the while screaming in rage and sadness. "You killed him!" she screamed. "You...!" The sounds coming out of her mouth became undistinct, her breaths shallow as her feet moved across the ground, attacking the man who had once meant the world to her.

Sesshoumaru caught her wrist, holding her steady, staring into her eyes until she listened. "The boy lives", he said, quietly.

Rin stopped fighting, her breaths the only thing loud enough to be heard, and turned to look at her son. He had a gash in his forehead, but his chest still heaved up and down. Still mad, but relieved and too exhausted to continue she sank to her knees, burying her face against the ground.

Hours later Kohane began to stir and Rin stayed close to his side, tending to him. During the entire time Kohane had been unconscious the white-clad youkai, as stoic as he was majestic, had stood a couple of meters away from his ward and her son, observing intensely. By his side stood the green imp, who had arrived at the site a while back. He held closely onto the reins of the two-headed monster, which was anxious from the smell of the blood overwhelming the grounds.

As Rin bent down to feed Kohane some water the lord of the Western Lands turned around, quietly gesturing to Jaken to leave. Rin heard the imp's confused croaking and turned around.

"Sessoumaru-sama", she said. "Wait!"

He faced her.

Slowly she walked toward him. Standing only inches from his armoured plate she could see the chinks were blades had cut and reached out to touch a part of the tail where the hairs had been cut. Tenderly stroking it she looked down at the ground in sudden embarressment and said quietly: "I love you". The man said nothing. She took a deep breath and continued. "I have always loved you". When he still said nothing she decided to look up and meet his gaze.

His eyes were shrouded and his soft voice tickeled her ears. "Then you will come with this Sesshoumaru".

Sad, she lowered her eyes and shook her head. She struggled to find her voice. "N-no. You abandoned me, and now you have killed my husband. I hate you for that". She was quiet for a second, feeling her master tense at her words. "I can never go with you again".

Before she could realize what had happened the man had freed himself from her grip and stood at the edge of the clearing. He turned toward her for a second, staring her in the eyes. "This Sesshoumaru understands". And then he was gone, the whirlwind in the wake of his trail, and the green imp hastening to follow his master, all the trace that the youkai lord had ever been there that was left.

Rin fell to her knees beside her son, hugging him and together they cried and sobbed and screamed.


	13. Epilogue

Epilogue

It was hours later when Rin and Kohane reached their house, exhausted and dirtied by blood and dust and scratched by their walk through the forest. It was Kohane that saw it first, the lonely flower lying on the porch and silently he walked up to it. Holding it up against the darkening sky he said: "Mother".

Rin walked up to him, taking the flower, turning it over in her hands and studying it carefully.

"It's a forget-me-not", Kohane said, realization dawning on him.

Rin's eyes trailed toward the ground and she collapsed, sitting there, leaning against the porch quietly until the sun was completely hidden behind the hills.

The lord of the Western Lands were known by all to be a stoic man. He only spoke when needed, and only to those who deserved it. He was also known to be an uncaring man, treating his subjects only slightly better than his enemies. The taiyoukai had no friends and a strained relationship with his younger brother. This was all common knowledge and that was why the lord had lately been much discussed. The toad youkai and the two-headed monster were, it was said, the only demons brave enough to travel with the lord. Thus, the gossip on everybody's lips were the seemingly human girl travelling with him – a little wench, tiny, and clutching a doll made of sticks and rope tight to her chest. She could not really be human, could she?

Only those really close to the lord, such as the lord's hanyou brother and his wife, remembered the tiny human girl who used to travel with the lord and only those could see the resemblance between the two.

Kagome sighed as she regarded the lord from her spot in the shade under the tree and said: "She'll grow old, too, you know. And die".

The lord turned his gaze away from the little girl's innocent play and met Kagome's eyes for a second. Then he turned away from the aged miko and in a whirlwind he disappeared into the forest. Left behind was the youkai servant, currently feeding Ah-Uhn, the little girl cheerfully playing in the court-yard and a saddened miko.

* * *

_This is the end. I hope no one is too frustrated with the ending (though I did warn you it wasn't going to be a fluffy ending) and I hope you've enjoyed. Thanks for supporting me through all this time! I've had a blast writing it!_


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